What is perfectionism?
Perfectionism is the propensity to generate debilitating emotions and unproductive behavior by setting unrealistic high standards for one's performance, rigidly adhering to these standards, and equating self-worth with one's performance.
Perfectionism occurs in a number of forms which fall on a continuum of the degree to which it is disruptive to an individual. At the more benign end, many who are serious about performing well entertain perfectionistic thoughts on occasion and find themselves worrying unnecessarily, procrastinating, or second guessing their actions after finalizing an initiative; however, they are able to put these worries aside and attend to their tasks in a relatively effective manner. At the other end of the continuum are those who are continually handicapped by a strongly ingrained perfectionistic trait and suffer considerably in their self-esteem, emotional health and productivity. Midway on the continuum are individuals who waver in the degree to which they can manage their perfectionistic demands.
It is common for university students to go through a phase of difficulty with perfectionism as they make the transition from high school and home to college-level demands.
What are the indicators of difficulty with perfectionism?
Perfectionistic thinking is relatively common, particularly in a competitive university environment like Duke. With most people, perfectionistic struggles are manageable, minor difficulties. More pronounced difficulties with perfectionism can show up in a number of forms:
- extensive procrastination, because the person cannot free her/himself from perfectionistic demands long enough to begin writing, studying, etc.
- heightened anxiety caused by perfectionistic "what if-ing" about upcoming events (tests, speeches, dates, etc.), which can lead to blanking (such as on tests) and concentration lapses high stress levels and fatigue caused by worrying incessantly about performance and adequacy
- depressed mood due to perfectionistic beating up on oneself when one's performance falls beneath one's rigid expectations
- lack of enjoyment in life, because perfectionism prevents one from enjoying rewards and leisure when there are any unjumped hurdles to contemplate (and there always are)
What can be done to overcome perfectionism?
The first step in addressing your perfectionistic tendencies is to assess the level of your difficulty by considering the following questions:
- Do you engage in dichotomous, right-wrong thinking?
- Do you construe your goals as necessities for feeling good about yourself more than as achievements that would be desirable but not necessary?
- Do you tend to worry about undone tasks in the future without giving yourself credit for feeling relief for tasks you have completed?
- Do you selectively attend to your mistakes and overlook your successes?
- Do your feelings of self-worth go up and down with your judgment of how well you have performed?
If you answered "yes" to several of these questions, perfectionism is probably a relatively strong trait for you, particularly if some of the indicators of perfectionistic difficulty described above are present. Make an appointment to talk with a counselor at Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) to further assess your difficulty and discuss how it can best be addressed.
If you answered "no" or "sort of" rather than a bold "yes" to most questions, you can probably enhance the degree to which you manage perfectionistic thinking by consciously monitoring and re-thinking your thought patterns and applying some of the preventive strategies listed below.
Most people can reach improved levels of self-understanding and self-acceptance and can fashion effective strategies for successfully managing perfectionistic thinking.
How long will the effects last?
In many cases, mild to moderately severe perfectionism can be overcome in short-term therapy at CAPS. If the trait is unusually stubborn or part of a more involved psychological syndrome or disorder (for example, compulsive personality disorder), the CAPS counselor might help you obtain open-ended therapy that is within your financial means. While you might always have perfectionistic tendencies to channel, most people can reach improved levels of self-understanding and self-acceptance and can fashion effective strategies for managing perfectionistic thinking successfully.
What can I do to prevent perfectionism from becoming a problem?
To avoid becoming overwhelmed by perfectionistic thinking, experiment with some of the following strategies:
- Begin a conscious campaign to tune into and moderate your perfectionistic thinking.
- Monitor your "internal dialogue"--the phrases you mutter or videos you run in your mind. What are your common perfectionistic "mental ruts?" Dichotomous thinking (black-white, categorical classifications)? Catastrophizing (making mountains out of mole hills)? Selective attention (blaming yourself for let-downs but not rewarding yourself for successes)?
- Cultivate a more soothing, self-nurturing "coping dialogue" that enables you to be a good friend or good parent to yourself ("I can't do everything perfectly. It's O.K. for me to set priorities and then do the best I can").
- Challenge your perfectionistic thought system by purposely experimenting with deviating from it (e.g., resist your tendency to engage in overkill the night before the exam and then see how things work out).
- Affirm your humanness by recognizing that your self worth is independent of any single performance.