Pregnancy options
Considering Adoption
One of your choices is to complete your pregnancy and let someone else raise your child. Many women who make this choice are happy knowing that their child is loved and living in a good home. But some women find that separating from the child they have delivered is a difficult choice to make. For some women, this pain is deeper and longer lasting than they expected. If you choose adoption, it is a legal and binding agreement. You can choose from two kinds of adoption:
- Closed adoption – the names of the birth mother and the adoptive parents are kept secret from each other.
- Open adoption – the birth mother may select the adoptive parents for her child. She and the adoptive parents may choose to get to know each other. They may also choose to have an ongoing relationship.
After signing relinquishment papers, you have a limited amount of time during which you may change your mind. Few adoptions are reversed by the courts. However, the child’s father can demand custody of the child unless he has already signed release papers for the adoption.
Adoption can be arranged one of three ways:
- Agency adoption – the birth parents “relinquish” their child to an agency, and the agency then places the child into its adoptive home.
- Independent adoption – the birth parents “relinquish” their child directly into the adoptive home. Most independent adoptions are open adoptions.
- Adoption by relatives – courts can grant legal adoption to relatives, such as your parents, grandparents, or siblings, after they are studied and approved by a state agency. You will have no more parental rights than if you had placed the child with strangers.
If you are considering adoption, here are some things to ask yourself:
- Can I accept that my child will be raised by someone else?
- Do I think going through pregnancy and delivery will change my mind?
- Would the child’s father approve of adoption?
- Am I ready, willing and able to get good prenatal care?
- Am I considering adoption because abortion scares me?
- Do I feel that I’m being pressured to consider adoption?
- Do I believe that my child will be treated better if it is raised by someone else?
- Will I be jealous of the adoptive parents?
Think about what your answers mean to you. Consider discussing your answers with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a trusted religious advisor, a healthcare provider, or a counselor.
Note:
The Duke Student Health Center provides all-options pregnancy counseling through the Office of Health Promotion. Call 681-WELL (919-681-9355) to schedule an appointment with Lindsey Bickers Bock, MPH, to discuss pregnancy options. The counselor will help you make your own decision about what is right for you at this point in your life.
Information last reviewed June 2009