Pregnancy options
Parenting without a Partner
The challenge of raising a child without a partner can be exciting and rewarding, and the experience is made easier if you find and use all the support you can. Be sure to let your family and friends know that you hope for their support before you decide to become a single parent.
Challenges and rewards exist when you become a single parent. Even with the help of your family and friends, being a single parent is not easy. It is often complicated and frustrating. Your child’s needs will constantly change and so will your ability to meet those needs. Every community provides different types of child care services. While Duke and the surrounding Durham community do provide services to parents, you may find it difficult to access the services you and your child need while continuing your education. It also takes a lot of money to raise a child. Having the money to cover living expenses for yourself and your child can be a real challenge – even once you finish school and have a job. Your own parent(s) may or may not be able or willing to help you cover your bills.
Your child will look to you for love and care – all day, every day. You can take great pleasure in helping your child grow into a happy, independent, and responsible adult, but there will be no breaks. It takes years for children to become responsible for themselves.
Because your child will need you so much, you may become more dependent on your own family and friends – for help with the child, for emotional support, and for money. You may have to give up a lot of freedom to be a good single parent. On the other hand, as a single parent, you can raise the child as your wish – with your values, principles and beliefs.
Parenting requires lots of love, energy and patience. There will be times you feel that you are not doing a good job at it. To feel good about being a single parent, you should be sure that it is what you want to do.
If you are considering becoming a single parent, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Will loving my baby help me get through hard times?
- Do I feel like I’m being pressured to keep the baby by my partner, my family or my friends?
- Would I be willing to put my education and/or my career on hold for a child at this point in my life?
- Will money be a problem if I have a child now?
- Do I feel confident that I have a stable support system?
- Do I know someone whom I can trust to take care of a child when I’m in school, at work or feeling sick?
- Do I feel like having a child will affect my ability to find a life partner in the future?
Think about what your answers mean to you. Consider discussing your answers with your partner, someone in your family, a friend, a trusted religious advisor, a medical provider or a counselor.
Information last reviewed June 2009